Pick Your Partner Well…

Being called hurtful names in a relationship is probably one of the most hurtful things a person can hear. This is particularly true when we are involved in a romantic relationship and the person you are attached to makes this kind nasty comment. Your hurt may only intensify if your man or woman said something like this to you in the presence of other people. If you are sitting with a bunch of feelings right now and wondering why “My boyfriend called me fat” “My girlfriend called me a douche-bag” “My boyfriend calls me stupid” “ugly“, there is a good chance that right now, you are highly pissed off. Here’s the deal – you should be!

Sometimes people in personal romantic relationships say things out of a place of anger. Other times, remarks are made because somebody made a bad attempt at trying to be funny. To keep it real, all of us say things we later come to regret. But there are some things that really should never be said, regardless of what prompted the comment. Specifically, we are talking about your significant other calling you fat, ugly or stupid.

You should tell them two things:
1. That their comments hurt your feelings.
2. They need to cut that shit out right now.

What he/she thinks does not matter. What you feel does matter. You have the right to feel loved and supported in a relationship. If their comments undermine that feeling then, then you should demand the comments stop. And if he/she does not stop, then find a new boyfriend or girlfriend. Life is too short to argue with people who deny that their behavior is hurtful.

I know I’m not what society would consider “hot” or “gorgeous.” I don’t have an amazing figure or a flat stomach. I’m far from being considered a model, but I’m me! I eat food, I have curves, I have scars, I have a history. I have done good and I have done bad. I think everyone is beautiful in his or her own way.

XOXO April

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Baby we can talk all night
But that ain’t getting us nowhere
I told you everything I possibly can
There’s nothing left inside of here…

I poured it on and I poured it out
I tried to show you just how much I care
I’m tired of words and I’m too hoarse to shout
But you’ve been cold to me so long
I’m crying icicles instead of tears…

And all I can do is keep on telling you
I want you
I need you
But there ain’t no way
I’m ever gonna love you
Now don’t be sad
‘Cause two out of three ain’t bad
Now don’t be sad
‘Cause two out of three ain’t bad….

Baby we can talk all night
But that ain’t getting us nowhere!

-Meatloaf

April McManus

WISE TALK

I’ve been told, ‘Don’t burn your bridges you many have to cross later.’ I say ‘I don’t mind swimming if the bridges were messed up to begin with!’Light The Way

That is a statement of fear and insecurity of your actions, fear of both future events and the need to rely on others in the future, particularly others in powerful positions.  Those in powerful positions are more often that not weak.  I say, the weak always crumble in the presence of the strong of head and heart.  I say, walk with fire at your heels and only the wooden bridges will burn.  The stone will stand.  If I am not afraid to blaze my path with fire, the fire of strength, the oaks and mountains will be left standing, the weeds and shrubs ashed.  Strength is painful, and the weak run from it or try to put it to death, such that the strong woman soon knows her friends, for only they are left standing when she has passed.  And her friends will also be fiery of heart, for like attracts like, and therefore the path they burn together will only be stronger.

In the past and into the present, I have often felt like a flame in a weed patch, and all have tried to put me out.  At more tender ages, my core was nearly cooled so that I might have joined the weed patch, but it was not to be.  Now I feel the flame rising up within me, still tender and fearful of water but growing stronger daily, weekly, monthly.  I hope one day to become the forest fire that levels dying forests and resets the clock to allow for fertile regrowth, that jumps mighty streams and rivers, that knows few boundaries, that rushes madly forward, unchecked, and dies in the process.

I know that if I am to survive and thrive that I will have to look deep inside myself and know who I am, what I stand for, and where I am going.  And so I write, channeling the truth that was pouring out of me.  This gem, as I see it in hindsight, is one of my first clear expressions of that.  Give me the strength.

XOXO,
April