A Beautiful Mess

Those disastrous mornings where you sleep through the alarm, the kids are arguing within minutes of opening their eyes, you don’t have enough bread left for lunches and you miss your mouth entirely and pour coffee all over your new top moments before you need to be out the door…..

Yep those!

I’ve had a few of those mornings these past few weeks, more than I can count actually.

But I have finally come to the realization that sometimes, the only thing to do is shrug your shoulders, laugh at yourself and say “F**K It!

When you are standing in a looooong queue at Dick’s along with dozens of other families trying to take advantage only one day only discount on equipment for their kids in grade school and you suddenly realize that you have precisely 7 minutes to get one of your other children onto the basketball court a whole block away AND you’ve left your phone on the counter of another store…. yep you guessed it, you’ve just got to say “F**k It!”

When life gets so frickin crazy and you feel that everyone needs or wants something from you and your To Do List is longer than the hairs on your legs that haven’t been waxed since no idea… then you really REALLY need to sit down, just breathe and say “F**k It!”.

Will someone die because your kids are 10 minutes late to school?

Will the sky turn black if the family eats cheese toasties for dinner for the 2nd night in a row because you forgot to defrost anything again?

Will the universe spontaneously combust because you don’t get around to emailing this person, calling that person or replying to some comments on your blog for just another day?

Perspective People.

It’s simple when you really think about it, you’ve just got to put it all into perspective.

In case you are wondering, I’m no expert on this matter. In fact I only just came to this realization myself yesterday morning as I was busy stressing out about life. 

There is too much pressure in the world as there is without placing unnecessary and often unrealistic expectations upon yourself too.

I don’t mean to sound demeaning to anyone else who feels differently to this, but when did any of us become so damn important that the world will end if we don’t do something that we THINK we should?

Seriously,  I don’t give a rats ass if you send your daughter to school with a tin of tuna, a can opener and a fork. Would you care if mine took a box of cruskets and a jar of Vegemite?

I don’t give two hoots if you forget to call me back because you chose to watch a Real Housewives Marathon instead, and I imagine you wouldn’t really care if I chose to nick off and participate in a belly flop comp with the kids and replied to your emails tomorrow instead of today.

Life is short and time is far too precious to spend it rushing around all the time, trying to do everything, worrying about things that haven’t been done or self imposed deadlines.

Sometimes we just need to stop, chill out for a while, quit with the stressing and just say “FUCK It!”

Try it ….. it actually feels pretty darn liberating!

Did that even make sense?
Do you have any idea what I am rambling on about?
How often do you just stop and say “Fuck It!”?
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Facebook would probably define the relationship I’m developing with myself as “complicated”

This past weekend has been one hell of an emotional roller coaster for me. Looking for Mr. Right in today’s restless society is quite daunting.  I have met men but have an unerring knack of attracting the wrong type. For me the past couple of years has rolled on with the hope of a wonderful relationship blooming in my dreams — and ultimately withering in the face of reality.  However, the men I have met while I’ve been here the last six months have had a common theme. They’ve all been completely unavailable. Either literally – because they’ve had girlfriends or wives, or emotionally – because they just got out of a serious relationship or because they’re just not looking for a special someone at this time. None of these guys have been particularly rude or nasty – they have all, in fact, been very kind and openly honest. They have poured out their hearts and their souls or spoken of their leading ladies in the highest of terms.

For me, my life overall is in a good place. My children, family, friendships and career are a great source of fun and celebration, but at the end of the day I don’t have that one special person who is just there just for me. So at the age of 32, I got a therapist. She has shown me how important it is to revisit the problems of the past to move on from them. So off we plunged into my tormented psyche until we crashed and burned at the bottom.

Now that I am in a much healthier state of mind, I realize that in every past relationship I have attempted,  I try to push “him” away before he could give up of his own accord.  I wasn’t gonna  wait for fate to throw off its happy-ever-after cloak and shout ‘Gotcha!’ like some horrible pantomime villain.  I had to step back and  distinguish between what I need and what I want. (there is nothing wrong with wants, but just make sure that they are lower on your list than the needs) I have prioritized and know which qualities & attributes I will not compromise on, and which ones are up for discussion.   I need a man who is compassionate, responsible, supportive, caring, dedicated, etc.,  he is the person who will be able to adapt to whatever comes ‘our’ way in life.

Don’t get me wrong though, I firmly believe a woman in a man’s world has to be tough as nails.  For this reason, I have developed a hard shell that no one can penetrate. But, I do have a softer side that not many see. Turns out, once I agree to give love a fair shot, I am surprisingly vulnerable.  It might take me until I was 50 to find the right man, and I will probably have smooched more than my share of pond life along the way, but kissing Mr. Right (My Unicorn) will be more than worth the wait.

– love is always one step ahead

April McManus.

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“Good Girl”

What’s the most romantic thing I could possibly do for myself? What about setting my alarm for the break of dawn and getting up even though it’s oh-so-early and going to sunrise yoga by myself? Really? Really! My best strategy for really making the most of my life is to get really, really good and grounded. Connect with myself. Connect with my feelings and emotions. Connect with my wants and my needs. Connect with my desires.

Now, breathe!

#April McManus
@April McManus

My Life As A Superhero (um, I mean Single Mom)!

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I’m at a point in my life where I know what I want and what makes me happy. Settling for just anyone or anything is not an option. I have worked so hard all of my life to become a respectable, smart, successful woman and I know that I can have a relationship that is fulfilling if I work hard in it as well.

I love to have fun and laugh…Im witty and like when someone can throw me off a little (or a lot)! I think I’m pretty funny…I like to make people laugh and feel comfortable and relaxed around me!   I have a good heart but I hide it with a hard exterior. I’m not much into the bar scene anymore. I don’t hate it, but I’d prefer to spend quality time with someone I care about rather than a bunch of people I don’t know.

I am strong minded, strong willed  stubborn, but that’s what makes a great mother, an incredible friend, an amazing daughter and phenomenal portrait photographer.  I don’t think anyone ever starts out thinking “when I grow up, I want to be a single parent…,” but one day, you wake up and find that is where you are. The road of life just takes people on an uncertain path…at least it has for me.   I lost my mind when I had my children but I have found my soul.

FUN STUFF:  I like to work hard and play harder. I am a little crazy, outspoken, I am fun-loving, no time for drama, a tad OCD at times, and one of the best-friends you can ask for.  Sometimes to my disadvantage, I am a very independent person. I work full- time, am a sports mom who goes to practices and games, fixes things around the house by myself-for the most part, and don’t like to ask for help. (I am learning how to ask, but it’s hard)  I enjoy new adventures.

REALITY LIFE:
I wake up by 4:00am and asleep by 11pm pretty much everyday b/c I am a firm believer in hard work  success.  I am a social chameleon, I effortlessly blend with most all social groups.  I currently live about 15 miles from the beach and have become spoiled to it.  I am never to busy for my family/friends, I have a shoe addiction, I am dog sorta chick no cats for me, coffee keeps me going!

I’d love to meet someone who compliments my life, challenges me, and makes me better. I want to do that for someone as well. I can appreciate a man who is comfortable in his own skin and who is well established. I’ve become comfortable and happy being alone, but I’m definitely ready to share my life with someone special.  My better half would be the type of guy that enjoys his career, but “works to live.” I’m looking for someone that can engage in good conversation and is also a good communicator – there’s definitely a difference. Someone that enjoys the finer things that life has to offer, but likes to get his hands dirty too. We bring out the best in each other, always striving to be better and do better. You have a close relationship with your family and have a tremendous amount of self-worth. You enjoy sports and being active, but it’s more about the fun than the exercise.

The best thing about starting over is I didn’t look back

Well, hello there beautiful!  Hope all is well in your life.  Pretty sure if your reading this blog then you too are a courageous single mom too. 

 Single mom by choice?!?!  That’s absurd….right?  Wrong!  For me personally, these past couple of years have been extremely busy. Between, the divorce, keeping up with my photography company, learning a new career outside of the home, raising three daughters, 2 year rottie puppy and now blog writing at night on our crazy yet fun lives – I’m stretched a wee bit thin. Then there’s laundry, food shopping, cooking and cleaning to get done. Okay, okay…maybe I’m not really keeping up with the cooking and cleaning part.  And, at the end of the day, I wouldn’t trade it for all the gold in the world. 

Life as a single parent who works outside the home is rewarding and challenging. Life as a single mother who works outside the home is even more-so. I believe I am pretty typical, it seems, of many professionals just trying to balance regular old life.  I’ve tried to organize my days, but a truthfully, a systematic weekly schedule doesn’t work for me right now.

It’s a beautiful Sunday evening. I’m typing this, listening to the hum of the washing machine while Mari is sitting in her bedroom. As soon as I hit publish, I hope to take a quick walk. 

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Optimistic Single Woman